memories of her

i have all these memories... when i’m in the bathtub i keep remembering everything. i think to myself... ‘it was so childish, yet so mature.’ felt so sweet, her expressions...

i ask myself, why? almost two years have gone by. why do i keep thinking of her? even dough she told me she fell in love with some other guy after we broke up. still...

am i sick? is it because i don’t make out with other girls that much? should i try and find someone? start a relationship? will i stop remembering it so often? don’t think i want that. i’ll just stay single forever, pray for her happiness and live my life remembering her. haha, i’ll just jerk off from time to time... and cry myself to sleep... imagining that someone else is with her in bed.

i don’t know, honestly... how can i love someone else? if just by remembering the one bath we took... (...) imagine all the rest... remembering all the rest... just makes it impossible to stop loving her.

i hate myself more and more each day for what i said to her when we broke up.

lied to her... and to myself.

does she remember me?
does she think of me? even just a little...